Imagine a beautiful girl just walked past you. She’s cute; she’s holding your favorite book; she’s glowing with sexiness. Before long, you’re picturing what she’d look like bent over your kitchen table.
…But then you let her walk by without doing anything. What else can you do? You don’t know how to start a conversation with her!
If you’re like most men, this happens to you every day. You want to meet more amazing women, sure, but you have no idea what to say (or do).
I say, enough is enough. Stop letting the girls of your dreams walk past you. Read this post and start amazing conversations* with women anywhere, anytime.
* – (that often lead to hot, crazy, consensual sex).
First Impressions: The Little Smile
Before you start a conversation, you need to make a good visual impression. Serious faces are unattractive and threatening. So when you’re out in public, wear a little smile – it’ll make you attractive to women as soon as they see you.
The best smiles are light and casual. I’ve found that turning the corners of your lips up a little bit works best. If you look at my photo in the About section, you’ll see what I mean.
What you don’t want to have is a huge grin when socializing or approaching a woman. That’s just weird – and some girls will think you’re laughing at them.
The little smile is cool and attractive. It’s friendly, but not too friendly for a stranger. Having one means big grins come naturally when the time is right.
If you want to see how powerful little smiles are, go about your day with one. Make eye contact with people; then wink or wave. You’ll get lots of attention from girls – and some will even come over and start talking to you.
(Seriously, try this – your mind will be blown).
Opening, Part 1: Openers Don’t Matter
Once upon a time, I spent hours crafting elaborate openers: pick-up lines designed to start conversations. “Hey, my friend lost a bet and we’re dressing him up as a woman. Which of these shoes looks extra-uncomfortable to you?”
I was pretty funny, but I also got lots of rejections and fake numbers. I was so invested into the first thing I said that the rest of the interaction always suffered. I was also dishonest and girls could feel it from a mile away.
I now understand that the first thing you say to a girl doesn’t matter. In fact, you can say anything you want to start a conversation – a simple Hello is enough.
Here are some ways to start conversations:
- Ask for directions (good for building up confidence).
- Make a situational statement – “I love your tie,” “it sure is cold for March,” “How much would we get for that painting if we stole it, do you think?”
- Open with a compliment – “Wow, you have beautiful eyes.”
- Say “Hello” and see what happens (my favorite).
The main thing to remember is, openers don’t matter. You can literally start a conversation by saying “I like soup” and get away with it.
Opening Part 2: Why Are You Talking To Her?
As soon as you’re talking to a girl, she’s wondering: “Why?”. If you don’t provide a reason, she’ll think you’re a weirdo who wants something from her.
You can be direct and explain yourself immediately. “You have beautiful eyes; I had to come over and talk to you.” You don’t have to be super smooth – just let her know why you walked up to her.
You can also be indirect, open with any neutral question and follow up with an explanation.
“Do you know where the nearest bar is?”
“Yeah, it’s right over there. O’Donovan’s, it’s called.”
“Thanks. Um… You have really beautiful eyes.”
Again, you don’t have to be perfect: nobody is. But you do have to let the girl know why you approached her. Don’t be afraid to be open: if you thought she’s absolutely beautiful, tell her you thought she’s absolutely beautiful.
Your reasons don’t always have to be personal compliments, though. “I love your scarf” also works: really, it doesn’t matter. Just pick a reason and introduce it into the conversation as soon as possible.
Transitioning Into Real Conversation
Many guys feel they need to impress girls. They brag, display high value through storytelling and obsess about everything they say.
But really, the main thing in moving from “Hello” to a real conversation is winning a woman’s trust. The best way to do that is by sharing yourself openly. (Alex Wise from Loveawake dating site has a great post about this).
It doesn’t matter what you say as long as you’re sharing and talking. Here are some of the silly things I’ve said with positive results:
- I’m kinda nervous right now! I’m not sure what I should be saying!
- Oh! I come from a family of doctors but I’m a total wimp – really scared of blood.
- I amabout to rob you! All the people here are hired actors; they’ll never tell.
- Would it be disrespectful to say you have a really nice ass?
- As a kid, I was a huge nerd. Actually, I’m stilla huge nerd. Did I mention I own Pikachu slippers?
None of those things are attractive – what’s attractive is my honesty and ability to share. To transition from Opening to Real Conversation, just be genuine – and keep talking. Girls love that and will reciprocate.
To Sum It All Up
- Get used to smiling. It’s crazy attractive.
- Get comfortable with just saying “Hello.” Not having a whole plan in your mind can be weird at first but it works. If you run out of things to say, be honest! I usually say: “I’m so nervous I can’t think of anything cool to say! Does that ever happen to you?”
- The more time you spend planning openers, the less open you are to a girl’s unpredictable responses. If you’re feeling shy, start with a neutral question: just remember to explain why you’re talking to her ASAP.
- Talk, talk, talk. Remember to have fun and never take yourself too seriously.
Now go out there and start amazing conversations with women anywhere, anytime!